Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
