and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
