ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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