Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone came in the potted fern
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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