I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
