when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
