i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
