I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
