she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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