maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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