And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
