Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
