This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
