Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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