hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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