Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
