Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
