The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
