is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
