I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
