if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.