Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
