OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.