do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
