He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
