What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
