It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
