Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family