after a month anything with tits is on the radar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.