Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
