Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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