Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up