Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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