he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
