found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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