East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
