I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
