the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
