the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I intend to get homeless drunk
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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