I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
