dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
