What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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