woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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