I'm really into asian looking animals
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
