its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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