My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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