im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We got so high we made milksteak
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
