4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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