Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
