My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The air taste purple.
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