Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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