redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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