you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Randomize