just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
