I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
