FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
