You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
