I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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