Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
