i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I came so hard my ears popped.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
