I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
