I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
