3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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