If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
