Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
