I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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