I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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